Must My Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Using People for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?